See you~

I've just deleted all the songs in my mp3 player and replaced it with Surah Yassin. I don't expect myself to listen to Mirotic or Gee throughout the 8 hour flight. The fact is, as the time gets closer, I've automatically lost interest in any of it.

I hesitated to go at first since I'm going to miss school for 2 weeks but I know that if I let this chance go, I'm going to regret it for life. I'm worried sick about catching up with things that I'll miss in class but then again, I cannot wait to say out my prayers-everything that I've wanted, wished, dreamed and hoped for at the place where Allah hears and grants them all. But honestly, I'm scarred. As much as I want to go and witness before my eyes the beautiful and sacred place, I'm scarred. I'm so used to the life of saying whatever things I want to say, do things however I want it to be done. You're right. I'm totally ignorant. Ignorant in the sense that I continuously forget my "role" and "position" in this world and the reasons why I even existed. I've always tried to improve myself, be positive and change for the better. But still, I'm scarred if I don't have control of my words and thoughts. The punishment is just too scary to even imagine. I don't play my role well, that's why I'm terrified. Yet, I can't wait to be there.

To those who were offended by my insulting words and ridiculous actions, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart. My mum always told me that some times the sins we make by insulting, offending and making other people mad are the cause as to why our life is full of obstacles. And since I really need to leave with a clear and calm heart, I sincerely apologize to everyone regardless of who you are.

Surprisingly the person I'm going to miss most is my baby brother. Haha~ Well, we can be the biggest enemy but I cannot deny the fact that I'm always thinking and worrying about him more than anyone else. Too bad he can't come along but I hope he's going to be fine being all alone during the chinese new year holiday. Poor thing~

Xkuaseknah's, I'm going to miss you girls too~ Especially Mrs. Micky and Mrs. Max, people whom I spend my days with 24/7. Please jot down Mr. Le Carre's lectures and photocopy Dr. Mega's notes for me yea? Thank you! I'll call you girls from there. Don't turn your phones off!!!

It'll only be 2 weeks but it's not "just" some destination. We'll see each other again, if Allah wills. But if I don't return, I thank you for everything and sincerely apologize for all the misbehaves and wrong doings. I am happy, I was and will always be. I hope you are too~Take care!!

love, hanis

(We fight over the smallest, most unnecessary things but really, we've always been the best of friends.
Alang will miss you isdemok!!! TT)